How does one cope with kids growing up so fast!

Ouch, ouch, ouch! It hurts! It's Anya's first day at school in 4th grade and I'm not happy at all. I'm more sad than excited. She's not supposed to grow up so fast! Sorry, I'm not prepared and and am not able to cope.

I want my baby to be the little girl always, whom I can carry around, dress up, hug anytime, who listens to me and who is happy spending all her time with me. We spend our time doing fun projects together, dressing up, singing and dancing, taking pictures and playing.

Seriously, how does one cope with kids growing up so fast? At this pace, she'll be in middle school after this year and the next! That's just outrageous.

I've told her that I want her to go to 3rd grade tomorrow. Or better still, 2nd grade. I can't let this happen. Just can't!

We were looking at her 3rd year pictures. Looking at her baby pictures always brings a smile to my face and a spark in my eyes. But it all ends in tears for that time will never come back.

The passage of time is so relentless. Punishing. Hurtful.

Time,
The greatest robber if there was one
Stole my childhood
Threw me in mid-life
And now is stealing my kid's years away!

The baby that she was
Crawling one day,
Walking the next
Sucking on her thumb
Pulling at my clothes
Wanting to go to the play area

Started school one day,
Mind you, just for fun
And now she's a fourth grader?
Are you kidding me?
She's not supposed to grow up so fast
Let her be!
Leave her alone!

Let her enjoy,
The wonders of blowing bubbles
And the joy of being chased
The rush of wind in her hair
When the swing touches the sky.

Let her laughter be
Carefree, unburdened
Let her observations be
Raw, candid and full of wonder

For once,
Time,
Be the good guy
Give us more each year,
More moments
To live, cherish and enjoy
More moments
To just be in each other's company
To hug, laugh and cry

Better still,
Just take a break
A long vacation,
do you mind?
We'll let you know
Once we're done

Please, just this once.
Pretty please?

How my 7 year old walks the trails and enjoys hiking

On the last day of our Utah trip, we were pleasantly impressed with our walking stats - more so, with our daughter's walking stats. We had done at least one easy or moderate trail in each of the National Parks. Here is a summary of the miles we walked:

• Days: 8
• Steps walked: 90,455
• Distance walked : approx. 40 miles or 64 kilometers
• Average distance per day : approx. 5 miles or 8 kilometers

How did we manage to walk all these trails with her? We know that she is a good hiker because she has done a few moderate trails before this. The Narrows at Zion (her favorite by far), Bright Angel Trail at Grand Canyon, The Loop at Muir Woods, El Capitan trail at Yosemite, Clingman's Dome trail in The Great Smoky Mountains, Mystic Falls Trail and a lot of others in Yellowstone. It helps that she loves the outdoor, so getting started is never an issue. Finishing might be. To be honest, finishing is an issue even with us adults at times, especially on day 3 or 4 of a trip!

When I reflected on how we managed to walk all this distance with her, I realized a few things. I am noting them down for future reference and for all hikers who would like to plan a trip with kids. If you ask me, visiting a NP and not hiking is like visiting Italy and not eating a pizza or visiting Paris and not going to the Eiffel Tower. You're missing the very essence of the place. I personally don't mark a National Park as 'seen' until I've done at least one hike there.

In walking the trails with her (and in almost all other walks of life), I consciously try to use the path of 'Saam, Daam, Dand, Bhed'. This path was propagated by a great Indian economist named Chanakya, who lived a long time ago. The path, which is used to cajole a person to act in a certain way, can broadly be understood as:

• Saam - Explaining or reasoning
• Daam - Dangling a carrot, promising a reward
• Dand - Threatening with a consequence, mostly unpleasant
• Bhed - Creating a difference or conflict

Whatever we did, falls in one or the other category, but to be honest, mostly in the daam category! The timing of tricks is also important. They should be wisely employed at the beginning, middle or the end of a trail, as the situation demands:

1. Involve her in choosing a trail

Trails in National Parks are categorized as easy, moderate or difficult. We would discuss and choose a trail based on interest, level, distance and landscape. A pit-stop at visitor centre would help us with the final decision. As Anya loves climbing rocks, she would be very happy if she could find a trail with rock climbing possibilities.

2. Let her lead the way 

Kids love to take charge. It makes them feel important. Anya loves to pick up a map and a stick and be the leader. In one of her trails, she took on the role of a teacher, who was out on a field trip with her two students. The trail (at least one way) became quite a breeze. We had a fun time, with one student acting naughty and the other, her pet.

3. Play a 'sighters - keepers' game 

In this game, whoever sights an attraction first, is allowed to own it. For example, a lovely hued rock became hers, a pine tree became mine or a hare became hers. The excitement of finding something novel and stamping as her own, kept her excited and occupied. At the end of the trail, we would compare our haul and talk about our riches. (This also works during long drives.)

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4. Let her play

Kids need time. It doesn't matter to them that we have come all the way to see a park and would like cover some sights. Choosing a stick, playing with dirt, climbing a tree or rock holds more fascination for them. When we'd walked some distance, we would let her indulge in things that would please her. She had also devised a way in which she picked up a fistful of dirt and kept marking the trail. This kept her busy for a while.

5. Let her be the photographer

The enthusiasm of taking pictures with my DSLR, kept her going at times. It was a double blessing for me, as it not only got her moving but also got me clicked! The shots that she captured came out quite well at times. It's interesting to see what kids see worth capturing. In our last trip, we had given her a cellphone to capture pictures. But that had become too distracting and so we did not carry it this time around.

6. Junior Ranger book and badge 

The temptation to finish tasks in a junior ranger book motivated her to find plants, birds, insects or animals. She loved her junior ranger books and was immersed in them. In case she got indifferent about finishing pages, I would offer to do them instead and keep the junior ranger badge for myself. That would kindle the competitive spirit in her and bring her right on track.

Joining a ranger led hike is another fabulous way to go about a hike. It not only helps one learn more about the landscape, it also gives an opportunity to share the company of other kids.

7. Let her carry a toy 

Having a companion for a trail multiplies the fun. As she shared her experiences with her baby doll, the trail became a much more enriching experience. It also brought out the responsible adult in her. We were amused to hear her give similar instructions to her doll as we gave to her.

8. Treats

I'm a stickler for healthy food but make a few concessions for long trails. I pack food as a fisherman would pack his bait :) Something to lure her and make her bite the trail. These temptations aren't displayed early on and are used very wisely when the going gets tough. They are either used to celebrate a milestone or dangled towards the end of a trail when enthusiasm and stamina have started to flag. Even then, treats are given after she has eaten a fruit. I'm a sly Shylock and use a pound of (fruit) flesh to my advantage!

Another treat that works is a promise of TV time back at the hotel. Half an hour of cartoon watching is temptation enough for her.

9. Motivation from other kids 

She could be cajoled to keep walking if she saw someone of her age or younger doing it. If other kids weren't around, me or my husband would challenge her to win a race. Not that she didn't see through our ruse. "I know you're just trying to make me walk more!" she would retort at times.

10. Piggybacking!

When everything else failed, me and my husband would carry her from each side and swing her. She loved it! My husband would even offer to carry her for a while. The gleeful smile and sparkle in her eyes would be priceless!

Not all tricks need be employed in each trail. She had so much fun in the Narrows, Zion, that she wasn't ready to turn back. In fact, we had to cajole her to turn back :) So it's always a mix and match and you've to constantly improvise.

So, step by step, we covered 90,000 odd steps. An interesting observation was that her footsteps are much smaller than ours. If we, as adults, walked 90,000 steps, wonder how many did she walk! Next time, we will make her wear one such calculator - just to see the difference :)

Every kid is different and has his or her own interests. But generally speaking, kids love the outdoors. If you have any observations about hiking with kids, please share.

Here's to many more happy miles and memories!

Birthday Goodies for School

Anya's birthdays leave me jittery. They are exciting, fun but oh-so-demanding.

To celebrate her big day at school, I wanted to give a little remember-me-by to her classmates. Now, this something had to pass a few tests. It had to be:

• Useful
• Eco-friendly
• Fun
• Artsy and craftsy

Whenever I'm seeking such ideas, I always check with Sarika, my dear friend who is a goddess of birthday-celebrations. Her daughter's birthday parties are the most fun I've ever attended. Her goody bags are the holy grail of birthday favors and I tremble with excitement while opening them. I'm more excited than kids and have requested her to keep a bag for me even if I'm seven seas or many moons away.

I, errrr...emmm, Anya, had received a homemade bookmark from her a couple of years back. I totally fell in love with it and had wanted to try it out myself someday. 

This birthday, we did it!!! ( A loud, proud pat on the back!)

I bought these craft sticks from Dollar Store. Since colored sticks were out of stock, I bought poster colors too. Rest of the stuff was found at home. 

I halved the sticks.

We painted them.

Then did the hair with wool, bows or whatever spare thread we could find. 

Googly eyes are an option for eyes but as they are plastic, I didn't use them. I wanted the bookmarks to be eco-friendly. 

We drew eyes and lips with sharp pointed marker pens. Used the same to write names.

You can write a message or names of recipients. 

25 bookmarks took 4 hours of work!! It seems a lot but I did that  over 3 days - while taking calls and chatting. 

At times, Anya helped me so it was like an art and craft lesson together. It was fun to match bookmarks to classmates. I got to know a bit more about her classmates. 

I loved her excitement and pride when she distributed these amongst her classmates. One friend said "Oh, I wanted a bookmark. Otherwise I was using a torn page as one."

All in all, it was time and effort well spent. Already scouting ideas for her next birthday :)

First Day at School : Our Photoshoot Tradition

As the first day of school dawns, I find myself a tad emotional. I sense the passage of time with a twinge of sadness and plethora of clichés. Oh it was only yesterday when we were researching schools, then enrolling her in a nearby montessori. How time flies! How she has grown! How we have grown.....sigh.

This year, Anya started first grade. I did a photoshoot for her at a herb garden outside our apartment. She wasn't the most cooperative kid around but a promise of TV time elicited required poses for a few precious minutes. 

I would like to maintain this tradition of first and last day of school photoshoots till she graduates from college.

The photoshoot set me thinking about her first year at school. We had celebrated it with a 'Vidyabhyas' at Bua's home and later, a 'School beginning party' at our place.

Do you have any interesting traditions around first day of school? Do share.

Be a Big Green Warrior, My Little One!

Dearest Anya,

Every parent wants his/ her kid to imbibe all possible good qualities and repel bad ones. I am no different. While this is humanly not possible, we can definitely strive to maximise the goodness. If there is one thing I would like to inculcate in you, it would be love and respect for nature. Be it majestic mountains or deep oceans, dense forests or sparse deserts, a mighty tree or a puny blade of grass, there's nothing more beautiful in the whole wide world than nature. If you love nature, you will never be lonely and if you choose to be alone, you won't get a better companion!

My dearest, I have been very fortunate to grow up in lap of nature. Aravalis were my backyard. Wilderness, fields and canals were my playground. I have spent innumerable evenings strolling amidst these wonders. The silhouette of a tree, the sharpness of a rock, the smell of a crushed leaf, the rustle of grass, all of them left a lasting impression on me.  A mango tree would lend its sturdy branch for hosting a swing, canals would  give me a quick dip and merrily transport my paper boats, jhadberis would share their sweet and tart berries if I braved their thorns and hills would provide fantastic views if I made an effort to climb them. They all became my dear friends. 

Now, I live in a metro and don't often get to meet these friends but their love has left a deep imprint in my heart. Wordsworth expressed my very own feelings when he said in his famous poem "I Wandered Lonely as a Cloud":

     "I gazed—and gazed—but little thought

     what wealth the show to me had brought

For oft, when on my couch I lie

In vacant or in pensive mood,

They flash upon that inward eye

Which is the bliss of solitude;"

I want you to get high and rich on such wealth. When I take you for those walks to a nearby lake, it's for you to make such friends. I want you to love nature because one strives to protect what one loves. Our planet gives us everything. From the air we breathe, to the water we drink, to the food we eat, we are totally dependent on our planet. And yet, it pains me to see that, we destroy what sustains us. We have littered the whole earth for our convenience. We have cut forests and mined resources to fulfil our whims. We have pumped toxins in our water, filled air with pollution laced our food with undesirable chemicals. We are basically sawing away the very branch we sit upon. I want you to pause and think. "Do I really need another doll? Do I want one more pencil box?" It might sound ridiculous right now but I hope these questions would graduate to "Do I need another pair of shoes? Do I need another gadget? Do I need more, more and more of everything?" Be sensitive. Be protective. Wherever you are, whatever you do, do it in a way which is least harmful to the planet. 

You definitely have learnt a few things and it makes me so happy and proud when you act as my monitor. 

"Mamma don't waste water" this, if I keep a tap open for a second longer. 

"Mamma, why did you leave the light on?" this, if I walk out of a room without switching off light. 

"Mamma, have you taken a bag?" this, when we go shopping.

Keep it up, sweetie pie, because the world needs more such green warriors to make it a better place. 

Love,

Mom

This post is being written for #MomsforaBetterWorld Project

Three little trekkers on Nandi Hills

Anya has got two gorgeous little sisters as friends - Preksha and Sharanya. Their parents, Nidhi & Varun, have become good friends of ours too. It so happened that I mentioned my love for outdoors and trekking to Nidhi. Varun being  a nature  enthusiast, planned a trip to Nandi Hills the very next week. I lauded them for their courage. It's not often that I meet such enthusiastic and well-synced couple who both share this interest. Often, the lady or the kids aren't enthusiastic enough. With two kids, most people would say that they have put such activities on hold till the kids grew up. So I was mightily surprised to see them not only plan but also execute a trip within a week of our conversation. I am always on a lookout for such opportunities. So I ditched my weekend plan to take Anya to a carnival and decided to go along on the trek.

It was decided to start at 6:45 am from our place. Another couple (Vidya, Rahul) was to join us. I was in for further surprise when they all were ready at sharp 6:45. By ready, I mean seated-in-the-car ready. I was still wrapping stuff at home when Nidhi called. I sheepishly told her that we would take another 10 minutes. When we went down, the kids just went wild with joy and hugged each other. All 3 kids wanted to be together and came in our car.

Nandi Hills is a hill on the outskirts of Bangalore. For Bangaloreans, it's a popular day outing spot.
After a stop for breakfast, we reached the foothills around 9 am. The weather was pleasant and the morning chill had almost disappeared. We parked our cars, took our backpacks and our spirited group of 6 adults and 3 kids started the climb.

Now, it is not a natural trek. There might be one, but it was not for us. There is a pathway with stairs, which we had to take. The kids ran ahead in enthusiasm, we all chatted and laughed. The challenge was to keep the kids going. We took breaks every few steps and kept them occupied with snacks of biscuits, nutrition bars, chips, juice etc. We pointed out interesting plants and insects to them. On one of the steps we saw a big, fat scorpion. It was a scary but a truly amazing sight. I don't think I had ever seen such a magnificent scorpion before.

After climbing one fourth of the way, while we were taking a short break, Varun went to a side path and found a nice, rocky stretch with lovely views of a valley. We decided to stop there for a while and enjoy the beauty. We also used this time to fuel ourselves up with homemade sandwiches. We all had a great time at this place and wanted to stay there longer but we had a climb ahead, so we gathered our gear and marched on. After another climb of 10-15 minutes, we reached an old fort wall and climbed it up. Little S had gotten hurt and I was quite impressed to see Nidhi take out a very well stocked first aid box. Kudos to their planning and organisation. Anya had scratched herself with a branch and she also wanted a piece of action (read bandaid). Nidhi took care of their bruises and onwards we marched.

On way, we saw a big group of NCC cadets. Some of them were carrying garbage bags and picking up wrappers, bottles and cans littered around. What a heart-warming sight it was! We still have hope!
We reached Tipu Sultan's fort and took some time to listen to the NCC group leader who was explaining historical facts to the group.We were about to reach the top when finally stairs gave way to a hiking trail. We enjoyed this break from stairs and reached the top. The kids had done it!! Apart from occasional protests and asking to be carried at times, the kids had climbed all the way up. There must have been 700 plus steps. We were so proud of them!

Once on top, we saw a huge play area and kids could have spent a lot of time there but we were eager to see what else was on offer. We went to a temple and enjoyed views from various view points. There is a restaurant on top but we didn't find it very appealing and decided to drink tea from a kiosk instead. It was starting to get a little cloudy and chilly. Soon we decided to descend.

Going down was more challenging because kids were already tired. After walking for a little while, Sharanya wanted to be carried. She soon slept off in her father's lap. Seeing her, the other two girls wanted to follow suit. But we told them stories, kept them occupied and they plodded on. It had become a little chilly. In the morning, looking at the warm and sunny day,  guys had left their jackets in the car. Now, they were regretting their decision! On popular demand, we stopped again at our favorite spot. We sang songs and chatted. Promising to revisit, we said goodbye to this place and started our final lap. We reached down soon and this last stretch, Anya did in her Papa's lap.

We were quite happy with the way the day had panned out. Three cheers to the planners and stars of the trek - kids! Looking forward to the next trek soon.

How to raise a nature loving kid?

In the last post, I mentioned why I find it important to instil a love for nature in my daughter. Here are little ways in which I do it.

• Nature walk: I prefer taking Anya to a nature trail anyday than to a mall. Fortunately for us, a couple of lakes are close by. At times, we go for a walk around the lake.We collect leaves and pods. Once home, we put them in a jar. Anya pries them open, looks at seeds and paints them. I like to see her playing with natural stuff. The touch and feel of different textures, observing shapes and colors must be leaving an impression on her.We also walk around in our apartment complex and I tell her names of different trees and bushes. She doesn't remember them all, but at least it's a start. She collects fallen flowers and leaves and never returns home without a little collectible these days.

• Bird and animal watching: Kaikondrahalli lake is a lovely place for bird watching. Many activities are also organised there. A few months back, we went for an animal and reptile census and saw a mongoose, eight toads and two newly hatched water snakes! She remembers these things vividly and narrates them later on. It's always better to learn about birds and animals in this manner than just from books. A visit to a zoo, aquarium, farm is also a perfect choice for kids.

• Climbing trees: There aren't many opportunities for tree climbing in an urban setting. The lake comes to our rescue here as well. Kids are natural at climbing. What better way to interact with nature than to perch atop a branch and feel like the queen of the world! Anya remembers this walk and gets excited when she is about to reach her throne.

• Weather game: I am planning to talk about weather to her everyday. Whether it's sunny, windy, rainy.... basically any excuse to discuss natural phenomena like where do clouds come from, where does the rain go? My brother lives in the US and we have told her that in evenings, we send the sun to him and he sends the moon to us! So she knows about time difference. 

• Watching sunrise and sunset: I feel that sunrise and sunset are biggest natural shows on earth, screened once a day, free of cost! Just imagine, if they were not free events, how much would we have been ready to shell out to watch them.We take them for granted just because they occur everyday. My apartment has two balconies and one balcony is witness to a lovely sunrise and the other to a gorgeous sunset. I admit, we hardly watch sunrise, but sunsets are enjoyed more frequently.

Sunrise balcony- getting ready for the show, behind the coconut trees

Sunset balcony- a color splashed goodbye to a sunny day

•  A vacation close to nature: At least once a year, I like to set off for a holiday close to nature - be it beaches, mountains or nature reserves. I haven't found any camping option with kids in India otherwise that's one of the best ways to bond with nature. 

• Watching Discovery, Animal Planet and NatGeo: I am quite conservative when it comes to screen time. I would like to keep A away from iPad, TV and phone as much as possible. She does demand to watch a 'baby channel' everyday. Sometimes, I try to play Discovery, Animal Planet or National Geographic. She is very fascinated with animals and birds and even asks me not to switch channels when she is watching them. Hope this continues. 

• Grow a little Gardener: I have a few pots in my Sunrise balcony. I let Anya dabble into gardening with me at times. When it is time to sow seeds, I involve her. Sometimes, she waters plants.  It does get messy and I don't do it very regularly, but she has a concept and knows a few plants and their uses. For e.g. if she has a little scrape, she comes asking to apply aloe vera from the garden:)

These days, whenever Anya comes back from outdoors, she invariably carries a pod, pebble or leaf for me. It warms my heart no end. She seems to be on the right track and hopefully a nature lover is being nurtured in my home :)